I’ve been wrestling with this idea lately: what does it truly mean to be human? It feels like we’re living in a world obsessed with objectification, reducing people and even experiences to mere commodities. We’re so caught up in the chase for fleeting pleasures, trying to fill some void within, that we’re losing sight of something fundamental – our shared humanity. It’s like we’re forgetting what connects us, what makes us us.
The wisdom of the Upanishads has been a guiding light for me in this exploration. They speak of “Aham Brahmasmi” – I am Brahman. It’s not about ego, but about recognizing that divine spark, that interconnectedness we all share.
And yet, I look around and see so much disconnect. We’re quick to judge, quick to criticise, quick to dehumanise. When we start objectifying people and things around us, we risk loosing our humanity. Sadly, humanity seems to be turning into just a concept in books. People often post hurtful comments online, hiding behind anonymity. Would we say those things face-to-face? Probably not. We forget “Tat Tvam Asi” – Thou art that. The person I disagree with, the person who looks different, the person who challenges my beliefs – they too possess that same inherent worth.
The world stage is a stark reminder of this disconnect. We see it in places like Afghanistan, where basic human rights are denied, where women are treated as possessions. It’s a blatant example of objectification, a stark contrast to the Upanishadic ideal of “Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam” – The world is one family. But it’s not just in faraway lands; it’s in the everyday interactions we have. We see it in the casual objectification of others for sexual gratification, in the way we reduce people to their physical attributes, forgetting the Kena Upanishad’s wisdom about the true self residing beyond the physical, beyond the senses. We are so much more than just bodies.
“yaccakṣuṣā na paśyati yena cakṣūṃṣi paśyati | tadeva brahma tvaṃ viddhi nedaṃ yadidamupāsate ||”
Translation: That which sees not with the eye, but by which the eye sees, know that to be Brahman, and not this which people here worship.
“yacchrotreṇa na śṛṇoti yena śrotramidaṃ śrutam | tadeva brahma tvaṃ viddhi nedaṃ yadidamupāsate ||”
Translation: That which hears not with the ear, but by which the ear is heard, know that to be Brahman, and not this which people here worship.
“yanmanasā na manute yeno āhurmano matam | tadeva brahma tvaṃ viddhi nedaṃ yadidamupāsate ||”
Translation: That which thinks not with the mind, but by which, they say, the mind is thought, know that to be Brahman, and not this which people here worship
- Kena Upanishad
These verses mentioned above from the Kena Upanishad collectively point to the idea that the true self, Brahman, is not limited to the physical body and senses. It is the underlying reality, the consciousness that pervades everything, including our senses, mind, and body.
We are so much more than just bodies.
Do we really need everything we buy? Imagine someone with a big house full of stuff, including lots of jewelry. Would those things matter on a deserted island? If they had a nice home, plenty of food, and no money worries, would they be truly happy? Probably not. Many people’s happiness depends too much on what others think. We get caught up in trying to impress people and follow what society says is important. We forget what we truly want. We even start to see ourselves and others as objects, valuing possessions and achievements more than inner peace. Our desires keep growing, and we’re never satisfied. This is where the story of King Ashoka becomes so relevant. He, too, had it all – immense wealth, vast territories, and military power. He conquered much of the Indian subcontinent, but the brutal Kalinga War shook him to his core. The suffering he witnessed made him realize the emptiness of his conquests. He had pursued worldly power and material wealth, but it didn’t bring him happiness. His story powerfully illustrates that true power isn’t about having a lot of things or being famous. It’s about understanding yourself and finding peace within. After his transformation, Ashoka embraced Buddhism, a path of compassion and non-violence. He dedicated his life to spreading “Dhamma,” promoting tolerance and respect. He established hospitals, planted trees, and sent his own children to Sri Lanka to share the Buddha’s teachings. Ashoka’s life shows us that true fulfillment isn’t found in material possessions or worldly power.
A big problem is that many people don’t know themselves well. They don’t understand what they truly value or need, but they always look for approval from others. It’s like being hungry but not knowing you need food. You might try to fix your hunger with money, but it won’t work. We need to understand what truly makes us happy, not just what the world tells us. This means spending time alone, thinking about ourselves, and getting to know ourselves. The more we do this, the more we understand who we are and what we want. This helps us see the difference between what we truly need and the endless desires society pushes on us. Ashoka’s journey highlights this – he had to look inward to find his true path.
But society often makes it hard to focus on ourselves. Thinking about yourself is sometimes seen as selfish. But you can’t help others if you’re not doing well yourself. We’re often told to put others first, which can make us forget our own needs. This is a kind of objectification, and it’s not right. We only have one life. If we spend it only trying to please others and chasing more and more things, we’ll end up unhappy and resentful. Like Ashoka, we need to look inward to find true meaning and purpose, disentangling ourselves from the endless cycle of wanting more.
I’ve come to realize that this pursuit of temporary pleasures, this constant striving for external validation, it’s a trap. It leaves us feeling empty, dissatisfied. It’s like trying to fill a bottomless pit. What we truly crave, I believe, is peace and love, genuine connection. The Brihadaranyaka Upanishad talks about finding the Atman (Self) within ourselves and others. That’s the source of true love, that recognition of our shared essence. But love isn’t passive; it requires effort, sacrifice, vulnerability. It means putting down the distractions, silencing the inner critic, and truly engaging with the people around me.
We all encounter individuals who don’t truly value our feelings, seeing us as mere objects to be used for their own gain. This often takes the form of emotional blackmail, a subtle manipulation where they twist our emotions to achieve their selfish ends. They disregard our thoughts and needs, prioritizing only their own happiness. This can even happen within families, blurring the lines between love and manipulation. The crucial question becomes: is this genuine care, or is it pure selfishness? Emotional blackmail is a calculated exploitation of our empathy, using our feelings against us. Those who resort to such tactics are often deeply insecure, constantly seeking external validation. They harbor a profound fear of being alone, rooted in a lack of self-worth. Their occasional kindnesses are often strategic, designed to keep us close and dependent. It’s vital that we recognize these manipulative patterns and learn to protect ourselves. Remember this fundamental truth: love will never objectify you. If someone professes love yet consistently ignores your needs and boundaries, they are likely using you, not cherishing you.
We often fall into the trap of believing we are “good” people simply because we say “yes” to every request, without realizing the self-destructive consequences. This constant acquiescence stems from a lack of self-worth and a deep-seated need for external affirmation. We become insecure and riddled with guilt when we dare to say “no,” especially when met with accusations of being “bad” or “selfish.” This susceptibility to persuasion reveals a lack of confidence in our own judgment and makes us easy targets for those who seek to exploit us for their own selfish purposes.
Love cannot be bought, nor can it be coerced through emotional manipulation. If you resort to such tactics, you may be light years away from understanding the true nature of love, and perhaps have never experienced it at all. All you’re doing is objectifying something sacred and intangible.
Consider the beautiful analogy of a man and an eagle. The man rescued an injured eagle, nursing it back to health with care and compassion. A bond developed between them. Yet, when the eagle was fully recovered, the man, despite his own sadness at their parting, released it back to its natural habitat. He loved the eagle enough to grant it freedom, recognizing that true love is about wanting the best for another, even if it means letting go. It’s not about control or possession. This resonates deeply with the wisdom of the Upanishads, which emphasize the importance of self-awareness and self-mastery. True connection, they teach us, arises not from clinging to others, but from a deep understanding of ourselves. Love isn’t about fear or dependence; it’s about freedom and liberation. It’s not suffocating; it’s empowering. Love will never objectify you; it will always honor your true self, your autonomy, and your inherent worth.
To truly understand and navigate such complex relationships, we must cultivate “right knowledge,” as the Upanishads call it. This involves not only recognizing manipulative behaviors in others but also understanding our own vulnerabilities. It requires self-awareness, the ability to see ourselves clearly, with both our strengths and weaknesses. Furthermore, it requires mastery over our own minds and senses.
The Katha Upanishad offers a powerful analogy to illustrate this: the chariot. The senses are the horses, often unruly and easily swayed by external stimuli. The mind is the reins, meant to guide and direct those senses. The intellect (buddhi) is the charioteer, possessing the wisdom and discernment to navigate the path. And the Atman (Self) is the passenger, the true essence of who we are.
| Element of the Chariot | Represents | Description | Importance |
|---|---|---|---|
| Horses | Senses | Often unruly and easily swayed by external stimuli. | Need to be controlled. |
| Reins | Mind | Meant to guide and direct the senses (horses). | Essential for control. |
| Charioteer | Intellect (Buddhi) | Possesses wisdom and discernment to navigate the path. | Provides guidance and direction. |
| Passenger | Atman (Self) | The true essence of who we are. | The ultimate goal. |
| Control | Self-Mastery | Controlling the senses through the disciplined mind and discerning intellect. | Crucial for reaching the Self and avoiding unhealthy attachments. |
| Lack of Control | Uncontrolled Senses | Leads us astray and entangles us in unhealthy relationships. | Hinders self-realization. |
The Upanishad emphasizes the crucial importance of controlling the senses (the horses) through the disciplined mind (the reins) and the discerning intellect (the charioteer) to reach the Self. Without this control, the senses, left unchecked, can lead us astray, causing us to become entangled in unhealthy attachments and manipulative relationships. Conversely, with self-mastery, we gain the clarity and strength to set healthy boundaries, protect our own well-being, and cultivate relationships based on mutual respect and genuine love. Only then can we truly discern between those who cherish us and those who seek to objectify us for their own purposes.
Love will never objectify you; it will always honor your true self.
Apart from having the “right knowledge”, that I have always been intrigued, and somewhat disturbed, by the human tendency to blindly follow the crowd. We often assume that if a majority of people are doing something, it must be right. This “wisdom of the crowd” fallacy can be incredibly misleading, and the worst part is how readily we abandon our own critical thinking in the process. We seem to equate popularity with correctness, which can have serious consequences.
This phenomenon is evident in numerous real-world examples. Consider social media trends. A particular challenge or meme might go viral, with millions participating, not because it’s inherently valuable or meaningful, but simply because everyone else is doing it. This creates a sense of social pressure, where individuals feel compelled to join in for fear of missing out or being seen as out of touch. Similarly, in financial markets, herd behavior can lead to bubbles and crashes. Investors might blindly follow the prevailing trend, buying stocks that are overvalued simply because they see others doing the same. This can inflate asset prices artificially, eventually leading to a market correction when the bubble bursts.
Political discourse is also heavily influenced by this tendency. People often align themselves with a particular political party or ideology not because they’ve carefully considered the issues, but because it’s what their friends, family, or social group does. This can lead to echo chambers and political polarization, where individuals are unwilling to engage with opposing viewpoints. Even in seemingly trivial matters like fashion or entertainment, we see this effect. A particular style of clothing or a song might become popular simply because celebrities or influencers endorse it, leading millions to adopt the same trends without necessarily reflecting on their personal preferences. In all these cases, the assumption that “majority approval equals correctness” can lead to poor decisions, missed opportunities, and a general lack of independent thought, moreover you will see such individual lacking “critical thinking skills”.
True wisdom often lies not in conformity, but in the willingness to think for yourself.
Polarization, while often viewed negatively, can have both benefits and drawbacks. When a group of people strongly values happiness and peace, and this view becomes widespread and influential (polarized), it can impact government priorities. Governments may then focus more on citizen well-being, as seen in Bhutan’s emphasis on Gross National Happiness over traditional GDP. This demonstrates how a societal value, when deeply ingrained, can shape national policy.
Conversely, polarization can also amplify existing insecurities and lead to harmful trends. The fashion and cosmetics industry often thrives on societal insecurities. South Korea, a global leader in plastic surgery, offers a compelling example. While plastic surgery originated elsewhere, its widespread adoption in South Korea stems from a societal polarization around beauty standards, specifically the perception that monolid eyes are less desirable. This insecurity, fueled by media and peer pressure, creates a demand for double eyelid surgery, driving the country’s investment and expertise in the field. This exemplifies how a polarized view on aesthetics can shape an entire industry.
The fashion and beauty industry sells insecurities, not clothes and cosmetics.
Similarly, countries focused on military might and expansion (a polarized value) prioritize weapon production and war, while nations that prioritize inner peace and non-aggression tend to be happier and more stable. They invest in their citizens’ well-being rather than military buildup.
We see similar trends in societies that seek to control women. These societies often develop rigid rules and restrictions, as exemplified by the situation in Afghanistan. A polarized view on gender roles, often rooted in patriarchal beliefs, leads to the suppression of women’s rights and freedoms. This illustrates how a polarized societal value can have devastating consequences for a specific group.
| Category | Polarized Societal View | Impact on Society | Examples |
|---|
| Fashion & Beauty Standards | Emphasis on conforming to narrow beauty ideals (e.g., skin tone, body shape, facial features). | Amplification of insecurities, leading to a booming industry focused on cosmetic enhancement and alteration. |
South Korea: Focus on double eyelid surgery to conform to beauty ideals. Italy: Strong cultural focus on fashion and appearance. France: Emphasis on body image and the thin ideal. contributing to issues with body dysmorphia. UK: Increasing trends in cosmetic surgery, particularly for facial aesthetics. |
| Military & Weaponry | Belief in military strength as a sign of national power and security. | Diverts resources from social welfare, education, and healthcare to defense spending; leads to an arms race and conflict. |
North Korea: Focus on military development and nuclear arms, neglecting civilian welfare. Russia: Significant defense spending with a history of military expansionism. Germany: Post-WWII pacifist stance, focusing on diplomacy and peace. |
| Gender Control | Rigid gender roles and the subjugation of women. | Restricts freedom, equality, and opportunities for women; leads to systemic gender-based violence and discrimination. |
Afghanistan: Gender apartheid under Taliban rule. Saudi Arabia: Women’s rights restricted until recent reforms, including driving rights. Poland: Restrictions on women’s reproductive rights and rising gender tensions. Turkey: Gender inequality and rising patriarchal attitudes under Erdogan’s regime. |
| Religion & Secularism | Extreme polarization between secular and religious values. | Social fragmentation, conflict, and intolerance. In some cases, the stifling of scientific progress and human rights. |
Middle East: Tensions between secular and religious groups leading to conflict (e.g., Iran, Iraq). India: Religious polarization between Hindus and Muslims impacting social harmony. France: Tensions between secular values and religious minorities, particularly Muslims. Italy: Religious influence on politics, particularly the Catholic Church. |
| Political Ideologies | Intense polarization between political parties or ideologies. | Fragmentation of society; reduces ability to compromise, leading to gridlock and inefficiency in governance. |
USA: Deep political polarization between Democrats and Republicans, leading to government shutdowns. Brazil: Divisive political climate under the leadership of Jair Bolsonaro and Lula. Hungary: Rising nationalism and authoritarian political stance under Viktor Orban. |
| Environmentalism | Prioritization of economic growth over environmental concerns. | Leads to environmental degradation, climate change, and loss of biodiversity. |
China: Industrial expansion leading to air pollution and environmental destruction. Australia: Struggles with climate policy and impacts of climate change (e.g., wildfires). Germany: Strong commitment to renewable energy, but ongoing debates about the pace of transition. Poland: Continued reliance on coal despite EU pressure to reduce emissions. |
| Technology & Privacy | Polarized views between surveillance for security and individual privacy rights. | Invasion of privacy, erosion of civil liberties, and widespread surveillance. |
China: Extensive social credit system and surveillance. USA: Data privacy issues, as seen with social media companies. UK: Surveillance state with a vast network of public cameras. Germany: Strong focus on privacy rights and data protection laws, especially with respect to the GDPR. |
| Wealth Inequality | Economic systems that favor the wealthy, perpetuating class divides. | Widening gap between the rich and poor; social unrest, reduced social mobility. |
India: Widening economic inequality, with the rich benefitting from global investment while the poor struggle with poverty. South Africa: High inequality leading to unrest and political instability. United Kingdom: Growing wealth divide, with rising concern over housing affordability and social mobility. France: Strikes and protests related to pension reforms, highlighting economic inequality. |
| Education | Access to quality education based on socioeconomic status. | Increases social stratification and limits upward mobility. |
USA: Public vs. private school divide, with unequal access to education based on wealth. India: Educational inequality based on caste and urban-rural divide. Germany: Focus on vocational training, but barriers remain for migrant communities to access quality higher education. UK: Growing student loan debt and concerns about the accessibility of higher education. |
| Health & Well-being | Healthcare access limited by societal status, leading to polarization in care. | Those with higher status or wealth receive better healthcare; public health systems underfunded. |
USA: High healthcare costs and unequal access to healthcare based on insurance. Brazil: Disparities in healthcare access between urban and rural areas, exacerbated by economic inequality. |
| Freedom of Expression | Suppression of dissenting views, especially in politically controlled states. | Stifling of free speech and political opposition; leads to human rights abuses. |
Russia: Suppression of political opposition and freedom of expression under Vladimir Putin. Turkey: Increased control over media and arrest of journalists. Hungary: Government crackdown on NGOs and independent media. Poland: Media censorship and concerns about press freedom under the ruling party. |
| Cultural Preservation | Cultural dominance by one group, marginalizing others. | Erosion of cultural diversity, suppression of minority voices, and loss of traditions. |
China: Assimilation policies towards Uyghur Muslims, suppression of Tibetan culture. Australia: Cultural marginalization of Indigenous people, with efforts to preserve their heritage through reconciliation initiatives. France: Tensions around the preservation of French cultural identity versus integration of immigrant communities. |
The story of King Ashoka is a powerful example. He was initially revered as a “great ruler” because of his military conquests. However, true greatness wasn’t found in his victories, but in his transformation after witnessing the devastation of war. He embraced peace and compassion, realizing that true power lies not in external domination, but in inner peace. We often celebrate conquerors like Ashoka before his transformation, valuing worldly power over inner peace. This reflects a societal bias. We tend to relate to and admire those who strive for external success, as these are goals we often share. We struggle to understand the profound peace of a Buddha, because it represents a level of self-mastery most of us haven’t achieved. It’s human nature to empathize with those we perceive as similar to ourselves. This can lead us to overlook the true greatness of those who have conquered their own minds, like the extraordinary monks and saints we may encounter. Sometimes, our own ego prevents us from recognizing true greatness. We may think, “If I can’t achieve this level of peace, then surely no one can.” This lack of humility hinders our own growth and prevents us from appreciating the true potential of human transformation. We are more comfortable celebrating worldly achievements because they are within our grasp, or at least within our realm of understanding. True inner peace, however, often feels distant and unattainable, making it difficult for many to fully appreciate its significance.
This is my journey – a journey to reclaim my own humanity, to reconnect with that sense of shared essence. It’s about understanding that true intelligence isn’t just about accumulating facts; it’s about cultivating empathy, sympathy, and reason. It’s about emotional intelligence. It’s about recognizing that love, not fleeting pleasure, is what truly fulfills us. It’s about remembering that true happiness requires effort, sacrifice, and a willingness to let go of instant gratification for long-term fulfillment. It’s about finding my ikigai – my reason for being – and living it with intention and joy. It’s about remembering that I’m part of something bigger, something more meaningful, something that transcends the superficial. And that, I believe, is a quest worth pursuing.